Day 17. say.no.
BOUNDARIES!!! I felt called to talk about this today because I feel like I'm being challenged in my boundaries almost every damn day lately. It must be a test before I'm blessed because it's coming at me in every aspect of my life. Customers pushing back or ignoring my store's policies, family members prying into very private aspects of my life and values, strangers on the internet asking questions that are a little too personal, even little things like someone trying to persuade me to do something on a day I already said I can't or someone I work with sending a *notify anyway* message when I had my do not disturb on for ONE hour during my french lesson when I *specifically* asked them not to hit me during that one single hour. I'm like am I going crazy?? Am I invisible?? Am I just some fucking chump to these people?? waaahhh hahaha so mf triggering!!!!! I've gone through the people pleasing to be safe and liked, to resentful and nasty, to now on the other side realizing that if I cannot be myself and say how I feel or state policies on my store, or say when I want to do something and when I do not, etc.. if I can't do those things with you, and be respected and heard, then I don't need you in my life. And I WILL attract people who do respect those things, very simply and happily. The first time I say it. Especially, and this is very important, if you are respecting others boundaries and *MOST* importantly, your own. No matter what.
It's perfectly okay to say no. To say you don't feel like it. To say you don't want to. To say no, that's not how I do things or no, I don't feel like talking about that or sharing that information. And you do not need to over explain yourself. You can just say no. I'm talking to me and you at the same time ALWAYS. Because I feel like I'm doing so good and then I get so triggered that I do over explain and apologize and I have to remind myself that it is perfectly okay to just say how I feel. (with love and patience, we're all learning and it's definitely okay to explain a little to those you love when practicing this and no you do not have to apologize) If you have to pretend to be someone else and not feel a certain way or think a certain thing, why would you want that person in your life anyway. And don't feel shame or embarrassed about it. We all want to be liked, it's human nature. But why would you want to be liked by people who only like you if you're doing what they want or need. To be valued and respected is so much more important.
So my challenge for US, is to give people a chance to value and respect your boundaries. Lovingly express yourself and trust that sometimes, it really is so much more of a big deal in your head and the people who love and respect you won't even think twice of honoring your boundaries. It'll feel like a relief. Give them a chance. I say this as a serial GHOSTER, hello!! I sometimes would rather and have just completely ignored the person because taking the chance with their reaction wasn't something I wanted to do or knew how to properly emotionally handle within myself. Some people you just know aren't going to hear you so you gotta use discernment and preserve your energy. But you know the ones you can practice with. The ones you feel safe with. It gets easier and easier!! But man when it feels like they're stacked on top of the other and you have to do it with multiple people over and over, over multiple days, it's exhausting. But it's also a sign that you're expanding in your authenticity and THAT is the most powerful frequency you can operate from.
Love you. See you tomorrow.
**image via pinterest from rachaelmckee.com