11 min read Monday, March 4th, 2024

Okay so I freakin made it!!! On February 16 I decided to embark on a 14 day fast. And yes I use the work embark because it was HARD and I need to be dramatic for a second. If you read any of my previous posts, you know I was dealing with some auto-immune stuff. If you haven't read it, well, I was dealing with some auto-immune stuff. For almost 3 years. Since April of 2021 I started getting flare-ups of swelling in my face. Eyes, cheeks, lips, temples. Basically where the lymph nodes are in the face. Sometimes it wasn't so bad but others, it was almost scary like I didn't know when it would STOP swelling. So I was put on steroids. Prednisone and the steroid packs. If you know, you know. If you don't, well, steroids make you feel LITERALLY FUCKING INSANE. It's like non-stop manic PMS for me. Rageful, emotional, anxious, paranoid. I had a very weird fluctuating appetite. I had insomnia. It really fucked with my mental and spiritual state. I felt so out of control and angry. From the steroids but also from the stress of not knowing what face I was going to wake up to each day. You can say that's vain or whatever but trust me if it happened to you, you would be freaking out too. Being the face of my brand, having to go to meetings etc. having to post content and do photoshoots.. Like bottom line, if I'm not feeling my best, EVERYTHING suffers.

So I pushed through like a crazy person for a couple years because I felt like I had no choice. I had worked so hard to get to where I was in my career, I was terrified to slow down when I probably needed to the most. I am now at a place where I see how much of a friend my body is to me. A protector and a tool. I see now the more I listen to my body that she is always giving signals to me. Right now I feel like I am in a HUGE period of release and healing and transformation and my hips are just aching to be stretched and moved and massaged. My back, right behind my heart has the deepest piercing pain that needs to be massaged and stretched daily because of the heart breaks I am finally acknowledging and releasing. My arms, my neck, my shoulders need to be constantly stretched out all day because of the fear of not being good enough, the tension of fight or flight and of waiting for the other shoe to drop longs to be released so badly. Our bodies are always speaking to us. Right now I am so thankful it's speaking up so loudly so I can assist her in our release with journaling, crying, stretching, talking, simply ACKNOWLEDGING!!! Fasting. Hiking, walking. And talking back to her!!! I hold her and let her know she's safe. I will no longer ignore her. I know she needs me so we can both work together and do what we came here to do.

Stress ruins your gut and a weak gut ruins your life. It really fucks everything up!! It's your second brain. But also second to none so I argue it's just as important as the brain ALTHOUGH I think our logical thinking can confuse the natural instincts of the gut so more important? No, because we can't function without a brain but I'd say gut, brain, heart - heart, brain, gut. They all need to work together. If one goes, your barometer is skewed. So yes. This is why I finally decided to slow down and stop. And listen to my body. Or else sooner or later, everything would stop. I mean I know that sounds dramatic but I have no interest in living a half-assed, just getting by life. I don't mean just in terms of money I mean I want to be VIBRANT. I want to give all I have to this life. And GET everything that is mine. Every experience, every lesson, every ounce of joy and magic.

So down to the details. I started with 3 days of bone broth and water. This was extremely difficult. Thankfully I started on a Friday so I could hide away and rest because that's all I really had the energy to do. On the second day I over salted myself with bone broth and electrolytes and I was basically pissing out of my ass all day so DO NOT do that. hahahaha I don't care if that's TMI THIS IS MY JOURNAL. By day 3 I started to get spurts of energy in the evening and I got excited. Like ohh I remember this feeling. I was starting to get cleaned out and charged UP. I had some swelling that day in my eyes because of all the electrolyte drama.

Then I started juicing for 5 days on the anti-inflammatory cleanse from organic pharmer. This was HARD. I've done many juice cleanses before and not no little 3 day ones I've done them like 5-7 days every time and one of them was strictly green juice like I'm talking no sugar at all. That was insanely hard. This was maybe just a little easier than that. I slept a lot and allowed myself raw veggies like carrots, avocado and cucumber when I really really needed to chew something. And I also stayed consistent with my bone broth morning and night. I kept thinking man when am I not going to be hungry!!! And it never came hahahaha. Fuck. I just had to sit with being uncomfortable. This is another reason why I love a cleanse or detox or fast. Because your mental strength really gets a workout and you realize it's really just mind over matter because of course your body can do this. I literally had to say out loud to myself every day "Laina, you're doing this because you love yourself." After almost 3 years of feeling like I was losing my mind, I was willing to try anything. So I get through the 5 days. Lots of water. No exercise other than a lot of stretching. It was interesting because my sleep was quite off and I think it's just because my body was so alert functioning on such little calories but I napped and it was fine. I was able to run small errands and stuff but mostly I just wanted to keep to myself because the thoughts and inspiration that were pouring into me was immense. I meditated and journaled every day I think I said that already. And I just felt so CONNECTED. And still do. My body had been so quieted down, it wasn't busy digesting or attacking itself and it was just open to receive. I would lay down for a nap and get an idea for something I wanted to create or messages that I personally needed to receive and sit with for my healing. I finished my whole 2024 release schedule and still have more ideas coming through (hence the pre-orders). I received guidance on my path and what needed to change and it wasn't like these crystal clear words that came through some divine voice in the universe they were my crystal clear feelings. Just like a very clear, calm and gentle inner knowing. Now I work with my body and those feelings that sit inside of me and when I write down a thought or say it out loud I wait and see what my feelings tell me. And again I go back to the gut because our feelings can become so absolutely warped in an unhealthy gut and our perceptions and our own personal truths can be convoluted and confusing.

Okay so now we're on Day 6. Liquids to solids. I had an amazing day on Day 6 I told myself I would allow myself something healthy that was in line with my fast from a restaurant because I would be out most of the day with my girl Roberta. We went for a long walk in the sun and walked down to the beach, put our feet in the sand and then went and got smoothies. I SMASHED that thing. hahahaha. Devoured. I felt so full. Then we went and walked around and did some shopping and stopped at a restaurant where I got basically a deconstructed salad with some grilled vegetables. Now I don't know if it was the food, the full moon, the environment (because I had been alone for 8 days straight up until then in my quiet little nest), my looming period that I did not realize was coming, or all of the above but I remember taking a few bites and literally feeling like my heart dropped. I almost started crying and I woke up with a swollen eye the next day. I am very sensitive energetically and can often feel other people's emotions, sometimes stronger or just as strong as they do, so it very well could have been energy I was picking up since I was so damn CLEAR. But I will say there is definitely something to WHO is preparing your food and what emotional state they are in, QUALITY and ATMOSPHERE. When consuming these sacred nutrients into your temple. I know how dramatic I sound but when I eat now, I really talk to the food and to my body as well as God and my divine team basically like okay guys let's all work together and get these beautiful nutrients into my cells EXACTLY where they need to go so we can do what we gotta do. My goal is to create and resume a strong energetic field and a strong gut so that I can dance with all energies, and consume all types of cuisine in all atmospheres I choose to be in but I think I was just too sensitive and raw on that particular day.

Day 7 I start the solid and final part of the fast called the PHAST - also from organic pharmer. It's a 5 day anti-inflammatory diet consisting of soups, broths, turmeric golden milk and protein bars they make. I did not have any swelling at all over the 5 days and I was not hungry. My body was calm, happy, fed and light. I did not exercise because I was still not taking in enough calories and I didn't want to make myself sick plus my body was doing a LOT! Old me would have felt guilty for being "lazy" but this time I listened and prioritized rest.

I am now 4 days out and still keeping it basically raw fruits & veg, pickled veg, smoothies & soups until I get some bloodwork done to see where my body is currently at after my reset. I plan to stick to an anti-inflammatory diet that's leaning towards the Mediterranean Diet. I am 100% keeping bone broth in my daily routine along with hot lemon & ginger water. I am sticking to pilates and low intensity workouts. Some weight training and zero crazy cardio. Those days are done! I might go for a run here & there because I do love the runners high but I can feel my body calling to be stretched and loved on. Yoga. Pilates. Low intensity weights and long walks and hiking (my fave). I have not gone a day without meditating once or twice in the past 18 days and will absolutely not be stopping even if it's for 6-8 min. I have replaced all my pots and pans to ceramic, non-toxic cookware. I have basically taken everything down a notch and my joy and peace and creativity has skyrocketed. I feel very trusting of my existence and current circumstances. I feel like I can flow with the currents and whatever life brings to me but I am also an active participant in that I choose my thoughts and words very carefully. If I get caught in a negative loop I start talking out loud or journaling or stretching or I throw on a meditation and cry or clean my apartment or go on a walk or all of the above. I've become more equipped to sit with uncomfortable feelings although some days are harder than others. We all have our triggers!!!

I feel like this fast came at the exact time it was supposed to. As everything tends to do. I feel like I physically made choices and it energetically swept away what needed to go as my frequency shifted. And it will continue to do that as I find my new balance with these wonderful changes I feel within myself.

As always, you know I will say to do your research for YOUR body and YOUR situation. Especially if you are suffering some health issues like me. We all need different things at different times but I really really think that even just cutting out processed food, cooking more, drinking more water, cutting out alcohol and other substances and just getting back to basics and being still with yourself will create more positive change in your life than you could ever imagine. If you are considering a fast read up on it - a lot. Consult a doctor if you can. I have a naturopath, a doctor I work with on my hormone balancing and an acupuncturist so I didn't just decide to do this with no information or a very clear picture on where my body was at. And I prayed for guidance every single day.

I will be coming on here more regularly sharing food and recipes and little things I'm learning and trying so check back if you want. Maybe not daily but definitely weekly.

Love you!! Health is really the true wealth. Literally nothing else matters without it.

xx L