Day 29. feel.
The sooner we allow ourselves to feel our emotions, the easier it is to get to the other side. This is one of the reasons I really appreciate therapy because it really helped me acknowledge what I was feeling when I didn’t have the language or the tools. I would run from feeling what I was feeling for AGES. Drink, shop, work work work, stay busy in really any way I could and was constantly anxious and because I was anxious, I was irritated and short and unhappy, under slept, unorganized and just all over the fucking place. I honestly wasn’t even really able to successfully carry out plans for my future a lot of the time because I was constantly living in the anxiety of now and everything just seemed so much harder than it actually was because I was just did not have the bandwidth. My ignored emotions just started to grow more and more impatient for attention inside of me.
Allowing ourselves to slow down and FEEL, connecting with the emotions in our bodies and just saying it out loud, the easier it is to get to the other side. I still find myself running sometimes but I slow down MUCH faster. I’ll stop and just say out loud “okay, so we’re not having the best day, that’s okay. Do what you can and tomorrow is a new day.” Or I’ll even call out exactly what I’m feeling about a situation or person and just allow myself to have that emotion. I don’t need to rationalize it or talk myself out of it and pretend I’m “above” it. That just lets it sit there and fester because it is not being heard. As beautiful or as ugly as that emotion is to you, it needs to be heard, honored and respected for the tool that it is. The language of your soul.
I watched a video of a woman saying the most peaceful people are the ones who make room for ALL of their emotions and ALL aspects of who they are. The attributes and characteristics they’re proud of and the ones they’re maybe not so proud of. They don’t shame themselves for it, they let themselves be human. I find saying things out loud really helps me and I’ll do it while I’m cleaning or something meditative like that and talk to myself like I was my loving big sister. My dad says that emotions that are ignored become explosions. We need to honor the feelings. All of them. Not say, oh it’s all good I understand. You can say you understand but you can also say, that did upset me though because it made me feel like _____. Don’t rob yourself of your emotions you deserve to feel all of them that’s why you’re here. Not to feel good all the time. To stretch and to grow.
I find writing is also an amazing tool because sometimes you really don’t know what you are feeling. It can be such a mish-mash and you may need to pray and then sit and write and let it come from way deep inside of you. You may need to go for a walk or a jog. Stretch, get a massage. Move those emotions that are stored all around your body. Thank them as you acknowledge them and set them free. If they’re not ready to leave yet, make friends with them. Say I don’t really like this one but I know you’re here to help me and guide me to my highest good so thank you. Talk to your body and tell it you’re ready to feel what you’re hiding from if you feel a lot of anxiety or an inability to slow down and be still. Some of them could be from teeny little you and you may need to be patient and let her know she’s allowed an outburst. That it’s just you and her and you’re gonna hear her all the way through and make sure she’s safe, and loved, and heard. Sometimes you may still not know what it is but a certain stretch or an area that’s getting massaged may make you feel angry or sad. Just cry and say I’m confused but I trust if I give you some room you’ll show me what you’re trying to say.
I think this is probably one of the most important and life changing tools in my life. I did a lot of self destructive shit before I let myself feel. And I’m getting better and better at it every day. <3
Love your emotions.